She's JV to your varsity
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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