I feel like abortions should bother me more
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
