You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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