I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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