For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
