I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
