talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
