We named our party play list daddy issues
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
