I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
