he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
