Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
