I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
