My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
