I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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