The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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