On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
