I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
