I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
