do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
