Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
