It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
