dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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