I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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