Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
