dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
