Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
