I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
