is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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