overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We are two peas in an std pod
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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