There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
