I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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