Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
