Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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