i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
