I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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