WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
