well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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