i don't like sucking hair
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
