I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
