Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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