god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
