fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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