Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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