weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
