So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
