At least make sure they are 18
Why
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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