I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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