When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
