he puts the penis in happiness.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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