Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
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