You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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