I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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