i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
