i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No subtext here. People are naked.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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